


Battle Scars

by MakingStarsShine



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Cisco has anxiety, Cisco sees something he wasn't supposed to, Scars, Self-Harm, but it all ends happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 04:07:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11153916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakingStarsShine/pseuds/MakingStarsShine
Summary: Ok, so here is a request from an anon: “God bless you. Could I request some angsty/fluffy mess where the reader always tries to hide her self-harm scars and one day Cisco sees them and reader gets v defensive and then Cisco just like loves her and holds her and is the sweetest thing ever? Thank you again, you’re the best omg.” Now, I have never done self-harm, and I can’t say that I’ve ever entirely understood why people did it, other than the general knowledge of it being a coping mechanism that works for some people, and not for others. So I’m posting this fic, hoping (fingers crossed and all) that I’m not going to offend anyone by the representation of a reader insert character, who has experience with self-harm. That being said, I hope you all enjoy this fic.





	Battle Scars

“Happy Birthday!” Cisco cried as he dropped a scotch taped cardboard box on your desk.

 

 

You took a moment to stare at the box, before looking up at him with a quizzical look. “My birthday isn’t for another four months Cisco,” you reminded him, squinting slightly, “what is this?”

 

 

Cisco shrugged and nodded, pulling up a chair to sit across the desk from you. “Yeah, I know it’s not your birthday babe, but your birthday is closer than Christmas, so I figured it fit better,” he nodded to the box, “this is a thing I made for you. You already kinda know what the thing is, but I wanted to surprise you with the fact that it’s finished already, so just open the box already will ya? The suspense is killing me.”

 

 

You smirked at him, shaking your head at how cute he was when he rambled awkwardly. “I kinda know what it is,” you repeated as you tugged at the tape that held the box flaps closed, “but it’s a surprise that it’s finished already,” you folded the box flaps out of the way to reveal what looked like a lump of leather material. You gave a little happy gasp when you realized what it was, “My suit?!” you pulled the material out and held it up against your body, grinning at the design and cut of it.

 

 

“Surprise!” Cisco exclaimed happily, thrilled with your excited reaction, “I overestimated how long it was gonna take to complete, mostly because I thought adding the system to monitor your vitals would make the suit too bulky in the front, but I figured out a way to do it without – oof!” His sentence was cut short when you rushed to hug him, squeezing the air out of his lungs with your gratitude.

 

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank yoooooou!” You squealed as you hugged him, “it’s so awesome, I love it, I love you, gaaaah!” Words failed you as your excitement overflowed within you. Your arms released their death grip on Cisco, only to scoop your suit up once more so that you could hug it close.

 

 

Cisco smiled softly watching you, proud of himself for making you so happy. “I love you too,” he told you quietly, waiting for you to finally stop bouncing up and down to ask, “do you mind trying it on for me, so I know I got the measurments right?”

 

 

His question stopped you dead in your tracks, your excitement fizzling like a hot pan in cool water. “Try it on?” you repeated hesitantly, “What you mean…right now?” you asked, looking around the empty workspace nervously.

 

 

Cisco nodded,”Well yeah, that way I can note any corrections that need to be made, and get them done real quick for ya,” he glanced towards the door before adding, “I’ll keep a look out so nobody walks in on you.”

 

 

You nodded slowly, looking down at the suit in your hands as though it were some sort of torture device. “O-ok,” you agreed softly, “ but you have to promise not to look!”

 

 

Cisco made an X over his heart and nodded in agreement. “I promise I won’t babe, superhero’s  honor.” He turned around then, heading to the doorway to keep a look out like he’d promised, and despite knowing Cisco was one of the most honest people you’d ever met, it still took you a few minutes to actually begin changing.

 

 

You and Cisco had been dating for a few months now, ever since Team Flash recruited you after you intervened in a bank robbery. You two had hit it off practically the moment you met, and with Cisco laying on the sweet talk like a pro, you almost had no choice but to fall for him. He was the sweetest guy you’d ever been with, and definitely not the least attractive, but even after several months of dating, you had yet to take the final plunge…that is to say, the two of you hadn’t had sex. In fact, Cisco hadn’t even seen you naked, any time he spent the night at your place, or he spent the night at yours, you were always carefully clothed in long pajama pants, and a t-shirt, and nothing less. He’d mentioned it once or twice before, joking that he wasn’t going to jump you so you didn’t have to always dress like a nun, but he didn’t press the matter. He respected your boundaries, even if he didn’t know why they were there.

 

 

That particular boundary was there, because despite trusting Cisco more than anyone you’d ever met, you still couldn’t bring yourself to share with him your biggest secret: your scars. They makred up and down your thighs like little red stripes, some cross hatching with others, some clustered so close together they almost formed one great splotch of scarred skin. They were a defect, the marks you’d given yourself when your skin would crawl with your insecurities, and the only way to let them out seemed to lie in the razor or box cutter you had on hand. You hated them, and yet you’d put them there, and you couldn’t bring yourself to have that conversation with Cisco, the man who seemed to love you despite your flaws…he didn’t need the burden of your scars on his mind, he didn’t need your darkness to dull his sunshine.

 

 

Your hands shook as you shed your pants, dropping them to the floor as fast as you could, before clumsily sticking your feet into the pants of your suit. You told yourself to breathe, just get the pants up over your legs, and then he couldn’t see them, even if he did have to turn around for some reason, just one leg at a time and - “Ahhh!” You were shaking so hard, struggling to get your foot out the leg of one side of the suit’s trousers, the hand you reached out to brace yourself on your desk missed, sending you toppling to the floor painfully.

 

 

“Babe?!” Cisco called from the doorway, his hurried footsteps approaching you making you panic even more.

 

“No!” You cried, unable to think of something better, “Don’t! Don’t look! Cisco stop!” it was too late at that point, he was already there, a hand reached down to touch your shoulders, worried that you were hurt.

 

 

“Babe I’m not gonna go crazy just because you’re not wearing pant-” he stopped short as you tried to scramble away from him, the pants around your ankles making it a struggle.

 

 

“I told you not to look!” You were crying now, wiggling away from him, while simultaneously trying to fold your body in half to cover your legs. “I didn’t want you to see! Stop looking at me!”

 

 

Cisco didn’t seem to be listening, his eyes were fixed on you, his brows knit in compassionate confusion as he tried to decide how to calm you down. “Babe…they’re just scars,” he tried, but even he knew they weren’t ‘just scars’, and he immediately winced as the words came out.

 

 

“They’re not!” you snapped at him, kicking the suit’s pants from your ankles and hugging your knees to your chest, “they’re not just scars Cisco, they’re hideous and horrible, and I didn’t want you to see them!” you wanted to be sick, you wanted to run away but you needed pants for that, you felt trapped and exposed, but Cisco wouldn’t stop staring!

 

 

“Babe,” he tried again, his voice slow and soft and calm, “I know they’re not…look just forget I said that, ok?” he took a deep breath and continued. “Babe, I know what they are, like…I know what they’re from, why they’re there,” he looked down at his hands for a moment, words failing him now as his frown deepened. He started moving then, without another word, he unbuttoned his own pants, pulling them down and kicking them off along with his shoes. You watched him in frightened confusion, wondering why on earth this situation called for you both to be pantsless, but when he lifted the left leg of his boxers, you realized exactly what he was doing.

 

 

“Are…are those…?” You nodded to the thin lines on his leg, so high up they were nearly on his hip.

 

 

Cisco nodded. “They’re not as extensive as yours, but still,” he traced them with his finger for a moment, then resettled the leg of his boxers and shrugged, “I started cutting in college, I was just so stressed…everything felt so pointless y’know? I mean I was doing well in my classes and everything, but nobody but me seemed to care. My parents didn’t even know what I was majoring in,” he let out a quiet bitter little laugh, “when I got recruited to work here, I finally felt like I was worth something, so I stopped, and then I made all these friends, and things started looking up, and I just… I decided I was better off without it,” he crouched down then, sitting cross legged on the floor a few feet from you. “I did start up again after things got…well when we found out Dr. Wells wasn’t really Dr. Wells, I got two in before I realized I still had so much going for me. Thawne was a dick, but I still had Caitlin, and Barry, and then Ronnie came back, and I just,” he shook his head, “I’m rambling now, I know, but the point is -”

 

You didn’t get to hear what his point was, you didn’t need to. You got up on your knees, shuffling closer to him as fast as you could, before nearly knocking him to the ground with another hug. This one wasn’t as giddy, but it was still firm, and full of even more gratitude than the first one had been, because you felt as though he’d reached inside you, and taken some awful dark mass from your soul. He hugged you back, his hand reaching up to stroke your hair gently, while the other rubbed up and down your back.

 

 

“I love you Cisco,” you mumbled against his hair, “I love you so much, I don’t even know how to tell you, but I do.” You squeezed him a little tighter, and he squeezed you right back, humming happily in your ear.

 

 

“I’m sorry I found out like this,” he apologized sincerely, “but I’m glad we know each other’s secrets now, because guess what babe,” he pulled back so that he could see your face when he answered his own question with, “I love you too.” You laughed, a happy laugh, and leaned in to kiss him. The kiss was soft at first, but deepened slightly as he leaned into you, his hand wrapping around the back of your head tenderly to bring you closer. Suddenly he pulled away, a look of embarrassment and frustration on his face as he did so. “Woo, ok no more of that now,” he said quickly, biting his lips together for a moment, before listing several names under his breath, two of which you recognised as Joe, and his brother Dante.

 

 

You frowned at him, completely confused for a moment or two, before you looked down and clapped a hand over your mouth. “Oh my god Cisco!” You cried, giggling like a school girl at the half hard erection tenting his boxers, “It was just a kiss!”

 

“It was just a kiss,” he mimicked you, “yeah, but we’re both not wearing pants, and we just had an emotional moment, and you’re hot anyway, so stop laughing!” he begged, laughing slightly himself, “it’s a natural thing ok? It’s nothing to giggle about!”

 

 

You couldn’t stop giggling however, you were too flattered, and a little bit embarassed for him. “Do you still want me to try the suit on?” you asked, trying to move force your focus elsewhere.

 

 

Cisco nodded, looking up a the ceiling. “The suit, a pair of sweat pants, anything really, just cover up so I can stop staring at your cute underwear.”

 

 

You giggled some more, easily slipping the suit’s pants on now that you weren’t shaking like a leaf in a storm. Cisco stayed on the floor for a moment, staring up at the ceiling, listing even more names, among which you caught Hartley Rathaway, and Henry Allen, before he was finally calmed down enough to put his pants back on. He stood smiling sheepishly at you as he zipped his fly.

 

 

You regarded him fondly for a moment, your eyes finding their way back to the patch of skin, now hidden by his jeans and boxers, lined with scars like yours, a sigh falling from your lips. “Did you ever…” you began, biting your lip a little nervously before you asked, “did you ever, um, show them to anyone else?”

 

 

Cisco shook his head. “No actually, I haven’t,” he replied, “no one has ever really, uh…wanted to see what’s under my clothes?” he shrugged as you giggled again, “so yeah, you’re the only one who’s seen my battle scars.”

 

 

“Battle scars?” you repeated with a frown, “what do you mean?”

 

 

He smiled at you, pointing to your legs. “Well that’s what they are, aren’t they? Whatever made you do that, and me do this…it wasn’t something nice.” he touched a finger to his temple, his smile still in place. “Mental illness is just that, it’s an illness, and what do you do with an illness? You fight it. Some illnesses you fight with antibiotics, some you fight with chicken soup and some rest, and some,” he tapped the finger on his temple for emphasis, “you’re not sure how to fight, because they’re tricky, they’re inside your brain, so they gum up the gears and make things confused. So we fight them with what we think works, and sometimes it leaves us with scars, but that doesn’t make us any less, it just means we’re fighters.”

 

 

You nodded, feeling fresh tears welling up in your eyes at his words. “Battle scars,” you repeated, prodding your legs through the fabric of your trousers, “I like the sound of that.”


End file.
